Causation's not enough for me.*

MacPherson he is happy, Mrs Palsgraf she is sad
MacPherson he got money Mrs Palsgraf she got mad.
You've got to find a doctrine if you want to win your case
With negligence in the air you'll fall flat on your face.

The risks are now in orbit and the dangers come in zones,
You plead attractive nuisance cuz your kid likes ice cream cones
All families now have purpose -- and there's duty for to act
The res she's ipsa locquitur no matter what the fact.

Since Fletcher versus Rylands, why, it's easy now to win
Against the guys with guns and drugs and nitroglycerine
But if you want real products case with liability,
Why, drink your coca-cola straight without the privity.

Polemis he is happy he's got money in the bank
Because a sloppy workman he went out and dropped a plank
The ship she started burning up instead of sinking down
Despite foreseeability and Kendell beating Brown

Contributory negligence assumption of the risk
Are claimed by the defendant every time you slip a disk
But if you are a lawyer with the proper song and dance
You might convince the jury that there was a last clear chance.

*sung to the tune of Manana's Good Enough for Me
Lyrics by William Prosser
Taught to me by the late Albert P. Blaustein