Sonsyrea was born into the Nation of Islam. Both her parents and grand parents were Muslim. She lived in a religious community and attended a Muslim school at the age of three. The school had strict rigid policies, such as school uniforms and headpieces, and intense academic training where the children attended school year round. The curriculum in this school was based on Elijah Mohammed's Teachings. They were all taught the importance of sisterhood and brotherhood and how important it was for the black community to come together as a family. If the black community did not come together to stop the oppression, then they would be forever oppressed by the white man, which kept them separated and mentally dead. Elijah Muhammad believed that the white man's ways were evil, and that black people should not have to live in a society that was oppressive. Elijah was determined to build a nation of strong black men and women who could live independently of their oppressors.

At school Sonsyrea had to follow strict academic and religious practices. At home she had to follow the same Practices. She had to pray five times daily. She was taught that there was no such thing as heaven and hell, that it was only a state of mind (Tate 43). Muslims prayed to the god Allah who came in the person of Master Fard Muhammad (Tate 53). Muslims were not aloud to be in contact with Christians even if they had Christian family members. Black Christians were considered to be lost and corrupted because they prayed to the wrong god; an invisible white man that would never liberate black people only oppress them (Tate 50). She also would help around the house, and help her mom baby sit children. She really was not aloud to play outside too much with the other kids. Sonsyrea explained "My place as a Muslim girl was on the porch. That's where I should of stayed" (82).

Sonsyrea would soon realize that her place on the porch would be a very significant spot. If she stepped off the porch, and stepped out into the real world things would be different. She should never question these differences or doubt her faith, because if she did, when it came time for judgment day she would be punished. That fear in itself was enough to make sure she stayed faithful to Allah, but as a child she still had questions about her as an individual and the society in which she lived.

At the age of four or five, Sonsyrea started to question the world around her. She wondered why she had to go to school year round, and would soon regret that she did. She wondered why she had to pray five times a day, and would soon regret that too. She wondered why she looked different than other people outside her community and church. She did not understand why white people were so evil because some white people helped her mother when she got a flat tire. All of these questions soon became part of her daily ritual along with praying and following Islamic faith. She questioned a lot of her beliefs, but her family was there to inform her so she would not have any further questions. This was the beginning of a long journey through uncertainty.

Sonsyrea's Major complaint's about being in the nation of Islam was that there was no individualism, no room for a women to become career oriented, and most importantly no room for questioning her faith. She strongly resented the fact that in school everyone was trained to think, act and believe all the same things. She said she felt like a robot, and felt as if her emotions were not hers. "It seemed like I was in a glass case, a pretty bird-or a beautiful girl-bred properly like an expensive parrot trained to memorize and repeat"(97). Sonsyrea was taught that she should not think with her heart, that she should only think with her head. Whenever she felt like she had to release her energy and cry, she should not because she had to control her emotions, and not let her emotions control her.

All her life she was taught that education was a priority, and that she should work hard to excel and succeed in life. She worked so hard in Muslim school that when she finally went to a public school she was two grades a head of children her age. Because of her ambition and drive, she graduated early at the age of sixteen. She was planning to go to a big university on a scholarship, but she was not aloud to attend because her mother did not think she was mature enough yet, and thought that she should be planning the life of motherhood. She resented this and thought that her family was being so hypocritical because all her life she was taught that education was important, and now all of a sudden it was not. She soon began to realize other hypocrisies in her world.

As a teenager she looks at her family, specifically her dad because he smokes marijuana and wondered why all her life she had to follow these strict rules, when her parents were not following them. This leaves her very confused and wonders if it was a big waste of time. Her mother decided to become an orthodox Muslim, which Sonserea did not understand. Sonsyrea explains that some days she would go to an Orthodox Church with her mother, and sometimes she would go to her regular church with her grand mother. Each of the two faiths was different, so Sonseyrea was caught between the two. This was separating her family because they used to do everything together, now everything was changing. She explained that she was used to being separated from her Christian relatives, but now even her close family was being separated, and this was confusing to her.

When Sonsyrea's Muslim school closed down her parents put her in a regular school. This was the beginning of people challenging her beliefs. She stood out in school and was different than all the other kids because of her background. Little children wanted to know why she wore funny cloths. They had a million questions to ask her, especially about her religion. Some of the questions she would answer with great pride and wonder why all these kids were uneducated, and some questions she did not know how to answer. The questions she could not answer would be left for her to ponder over years to come. Eventually she wanted to look like all the other kids in school. She wanted to fit in, and play games like all the other children. Sonsyrea soon resented praying so much because it interrupted her time to be a kid. She soon resented her religion because it interrupted her time to be a human being. She did not understand why her mother made her wear cloths that she did not want to wear. She thought it was very hypocritical that the reason she was supposed to wear these cloths is so she would not draw attention to herself. The exact opposite happened. She had more social attention drawn to her than not. She also found the religious teachings of Elijah Muhammad very confusing. He wanted the students to memorize certain facts about nature so that one-day they would be able to control it (Tate 30). She knew that nature could not be controlled, and thought the only thing that could be controlled was people like her; people in the nation of Islam (Tate 97).

Through out the book Sonserea portrayed the nation of Islam as being to strict, unfair, and hypocritical, and also being very supportive and encouraging. She describes her experience of being in the nation as being "bittersweet"(5). At some points in the book, her bitter memories of the nation were not handled very objectively. She talks about the nation as if it only represented one family; which was hers. She was trying to get her point across by making generalizations about the nation. For example she said that she thought that people in the nation used Islam as an excuse not to work. It is important to understand that she was an extremely angry child, and that not all Muslims used Islam as an excuse not to work, and that not all children were resentful.

Looking back at her life, Sonsyrea realized that she was to young to understand The Nation of Islam's ideology. Her life was being lived one way for so many years, and then she is put in a new an unfamiliar situation. When she begins to ask herself questions about what is going on in the world around her she turns to her religion, but when her religion answers back it leaves her disillusioned. The state of disillusion would be hard for any child, and teenager to go through. Maybe she would have been able to confront the rest of the world if she felt like she had a choice to be who she wanted to be. Who she would eventually end up to be was not up to her, it was up to god. In a sense her god let her down because she wanted to be something that she was not aloud to be, and this she disliked and thought was unfair. She did everything to please Allah. She prayed continuously, she followed all of the teachings of the church. She lived rightously, and respected her religion, but felt as if there was no resoprocity for doing that.

It is important to understand that the struggle that Sonsyrea Tate went through was her individual struggle and not the struggle of the nation as a whole. It is important to be fair to her religious group and understand that her experience was not every Muslim child's experience. Maybe if she was not placed in a public school at a time when she was used to being in a Muslim school, she would not have had the difficulties that she did, and maybe not questioned any thing at all.

The material in the book gives tremendous insight into the everyday life of a child who grew up in the nation of Islam. Her life in the nation answered many questions about what the nation of Islam was really like for a child. The pain that she goes through makes one question if it is really necessary to religiously indoctrinate ones mind at such an early age. Can children emotional and intellectual understand such complex issues about society at such an early age? It is hard enough to understand racism at twenty years of age. I could not imagine trying to figure the world out at such an early age. Then again maybe if one does not teach their children early enough about the ills of society than maybe they will be more confused and lost. Elijah Muhammad was trying to make sure that Black people would not be lost. The way he chose to enlighten people might have been good for other people, but unfortunately it left Sonsyrea caught between two worlds. Between the world that ultim ately defined who she was, and the world that defined who she was not.